Stand Up Against Workplace Bullying in the Remote Working Age

Up to 50%  of the US workforce is working from home at least part-time, but if you thought that remote work was an excellent way to field off bullying behaviors, think again! The Workplace Bullying Institute reports that over 43% of remote workers say they have been bullied, with 35% of them saying this has happened in virtual meetings and 15% reporting that the negative behaviors occurred during private virtual meetings. If you are telecommuting, then knowing how to identify unacceptable behavior and taking steps immediately are crucial. This will help ensure that being a victim of bullying does not have long-term effects on your psyche.

What Does Bullying in Remote Workplaces Look Like?

It’s amazing to think that bullying can take place over simple work messaging and project management apps. Typical bullying behavior includes making negative comments in chats and emails, leaving someone out of important meetings, discounting or interrupting someone repeatedly during video conferences, changing passwords, so someone cannot carry out their tasks, and similar. It can also consist of favoritism—for instance, when superiors assign more paid work to some staff members and punish others by offering them fewer opportunities despite the fact they are equally qualified.

Why Can It Be Harder to Stop?

Workplace bullying can be harder to stop because it is harder to spot. This is especially true if the bullying takes place in a private channel, or if a group of workers is ganging up against someone else, unbeknownst to managers. This is why organizations cannot simply create measures for dealing with bullying once it happens. It is essential to create a culture that shuns disrespect, gossiping, and exclusion.

What Can You Do If You Are Being Bullied Remotely?

If you are a victim of bullying, ask a team member from Human Resources or an immediate superior (if you trust them and the relationship is positive) how to make a complaint. While it is usually a good idea to go directly to the person who is causing you a grievance, if they are engaging in bullying behavior, then they could utilize the information you give them against you. Therefore, you may need to go through official channels to ensure your words are not twisted and the issue is taken seriously.

Self-Care is Vital

You should also consider seeing a therapist if you feel that these behaviors are causing problems like stress, anxiety, and depression. Bullying can and often does have long-term consequences. Don’t just repress or deny your pain, as it can manifest itself in physical and mental symptoms and, in some cases, in illness. Take steps to pamper yourself and ensure your home office is conducive to concentration and effectiveness. You can do so by investing in ergonomic furniture, opting for colors and interior schemes that calm your mind, and one or two items of storage, so your workspace is always neat. Make sure your space is quiet and, if possible, position it in a part of your home that gets plenty of natural sunlight.

The Vital Role Played by Organizations in Curbing Bullying

For workers to feel comfortable communicating instances of bullying, their company or organization must adopt a clear, unequivocal policy that is communicated to all staff members. They should communicate exactly how someone who is a victim of bullying should report the incident, establish anonymous hotlines so that staff can report troublesome behaviors, and ensure that staff knows there is zero tolerance for bullying. Education is also vital if subtle or covert bullying is to be eliminated. Staff should be trained to recognize obvious and more stealthy signs of bullying, so they can report incidents experienced by themselves or others. Role-playing, the provision of online resources, and company newsletters can all help stress the importance of respect and kindness among staff.

For many people who have experienced bullying, remote work was seen as a chance to work comfortably from home, free from the clutches of bullies. However, reality has proven to be very different from how many workers imagined, and statistics show that bullying hasn’t stopped at all. What’s more, it can be harder to spot because online communications often fly under the radar of supervisors. Companies should boost workers’ awareness of what remote bullying is and inform them of the protocol for reporting and dealing with this type of harassment.

Partner Spotlight: Stand for the Silent & Giftiply Stand Up Against Bullying

Giftiply’s goal is dependent on creating connections between our amazing partners and our readers, customers, and those looking to join important causes. Foundational and truly life-changing, Stand for the Silent is an incredible anti-bullying organization that works with students, teachers, and parents alike to stamp out peer-to-peer cruelty. Stand for the Silent works to create positive spaces where kids and teens can learn and socialize safely. We are so proud to call them our partners. October is Bullying Prevention Month, the perfect time to feature this amazing organization. Let’s take a closer look at SFTS:

The Stand for the Silent Story

Kirk Smalley, President of Stand for the Silent, shares with us the origin of this organization’s mission:

“Stand for the Silent began after we lost our eleven-year-old son Ty to suicide due to being bullied in school. Our mission is to raise awareness of the devastating effects of bullying and youth suicide” – Kirk Smalley

In their logo, the T and S are an aquamarine color, setting them apart from the otherwise white text. This eye-catching design choice has a much deeper meaning. I had the opportunity to sit down with Peter Goodman, Director of Partnerships & Technology for Stand for the Silent. He shared with me the story of Kirk and Laura Smalley, and their son Ty.

“The TS is for Ty Smalley: a reminder that out of great tragedy can come tremendous positive change.” – Peter J. Goodman

We would encourage you to check out the About Us page on the Stand for the Silent website. Kirk and Laura lost their son to bullying. Ever since, they have been doing everything in their power to prevent further loss in their community and all across the country. It’s not just about raising awareness for bullying, it’s about providing students and teachers the tools they need to put a stop to it.

The Stand for the Silent Mission is to change the lives of kids of all ages by bringing awareness to the devastation bullying can cause, while offering practical solutions for change.

Programs that Make a Difference

Kirk Smalley travels the country to share his story and the life-changing message it holds. His presentation series has visited over 5000 schools and touched the lives of well over three million students. His story lives in the hearts of all those who listen, acting as a reminder of the impact even small decisions can have.

This speaker series has evolved, growing in strength with the addition of local chapters. There are over 200 of these chapters worldwide: A grassroots method of spreading the message and keeping the conversation going.

The biggest difference between Stand for the Silent and other anti-bullying campaigns/organizations is the level of peer involvement. It is so much easier for students to learn from each other than it is to learn from an adult. These peers speak the language, they know how to draw helpful comparisons and are deeply plugged into what will connect with their fellow students. Teens are not to be underestimated, both in their capacity to help and hurt. That’s why connecting at the source of bullying and poor peer-to-peer treatment is so important.

“It’s amazing to see what these kids are capable of. They are so incredibly smart, kind, and compassionate. There is a strength and intelligence that kids possess that cannot be overlooked.” – Peter J. Goodman

Social Bullets is the Stand for the Silent’s reaction to cyberbullying. As students are more immersed than ever in online culture and social media; it’s no wonder that bullying has changed with the landscape. It’s easier to be cruel on the internet, hidden behind a nameless account, or where it feels like you can’t get caught. It’s not any less because it’s online. Social Bullets is a hands-on guide to the prevention of cyberbullying, created in part by peers who have experienced it.

This program offers engaging solutions while forcing those who might otherwise look away to face the reality of the dangers of social media. It IS hard to look at, it’s difficult to watch. But if you never confront it, how will you ever be able to help?

Our Partnership

Giftiply’s wrapping paper design for Stand for the Silent is titled: Lockers of Love. This vibrant design showcases what a supportive school hallway looks like when filled with love, compassion, and empathy. One of the lockers is inscribed with the words: I am Not Alone. This message can be found on the SFTS website: a collection of messages written by students who want to share their stories. It’s a place to truly recognize there is an entire community behind you.

Another locker states: I am Somebody – A message of love at the core of the SFTS programs.

  • Over 90% of Students Believe They Are Somebody
  • Over 95% of Students Are Willing To Be A Hero For Somebody

This bright and colorful design, created by Chloe Pearson, promotes inclusivity and love in every locker! Personally, I love that some lockers are closed, and others are open. It’s okay to be both.

If you love this beautiful artwork as much as we do, and would like to support Stand for the Silent, this wrapping paper can be purchased here. If you’d like to make an additional donation to SFTS, slide right to customize your donation amount.

New Design

We are pleased to announce our second design created in partnership with Stand for the Silent: Recess All for One. This fun-loving pattern brings elements of teamwork, encouragement, and the tools of joyful play to the playground. Patterned with technicolor games, sports, and positive messages, this uplifting design is sure to bring the party to any occasion! Check it out HERE!

How You Can Help

  1. Do Your Research – The average person probably doesn’t know the severity of bullying as a widespread issue. Learning more about the problems our students face is a great step to understanding how you can help.
  2. Listen to Students Directly – It can be hard to instigate a conversation about bullying, especially if you’re an adult. Stand for the Silent offers tools to help with that transition. Coming from a place of love and LISTENING will help to break down barriers.
  3. Backpack Initiatives – SFTS organizes backpack drives, initiatives to collect backpacks, school supplies, and even hygiene products for kids in need. These kinds of drives are prevalent every year when back-to-school rolls around. Taking the time to curate a bag like this is direct action, making a direct impact on a student’s day to day.
  4. Watch for Warning Signs – For parents and teachers, keep an active eye on the kids in your life. Watch for sudden changes of all kinds. It’s not only important to watch for signs of being bullied, but also for signs that the child in your life has become a bully. No one wants to think it could be their kid, but it’s always someone’s kid.
  5. Share Your Story – Your story could make someone you love feel less alone. It could comfort a stranger, someone going through the same struggles you have faced. You never know what might make all the difference in the world.

Thank you for reading! We hope that you’ve enjoyed learning more about Stand for the Silent. We encourage you to check out their website to take a deeper dive into their programs and the stories of so many positively affected students. Be somebody for somebody.

Bullying and Mental Health

The mental health of students is a topic not often discussed or addressed in the school setting, particularly when related to bullying, and can be detrimental to the students’ overall experience.

Early Signs and Mental Health Awareness

It is extremely important to recognize early signs of distress; we may see our children and students withdrawing from activities or friends they once loved. While this is a natural part of growing up, it should be an important talking point to ensure it isn’t related to bullying or other mental health factors.

A study by de Souza, M., & McLean, K. (2012) presents acceptance methods to neutralize bullying. Instilling things like comradery, spiritualism, empathy, and acts of kindness allowed students to build a sense of connection to each other regardless of race, creed, or social status. Educators reported more awareness of kind acts among students and showcased those, while students showed more willingness to show appreciation for people and situations they hadn’t previously, without seeking reward or gratification. By making ‘kindness’ language a part of the classroom vocabulary, students were encouraged to reflect on their own behavior and identify things to be corrected.

Giving more attention to the mental health of students, especially those involved in bullying, can help prevent long-term difficulties such as internalized victimization from those being bullied, apathy from bystanders and defenders, and resentment or continued aggression from the antagonist. In the case of victims of school bullying, we see this play out as internalized victimization, avoidance, and withdrawal from social contact.

According to Hong, J. S., Espelage, D. L., & Rose, C. A. (2019), there is a strong association between cyberbullying and mental health problems. This could potentially lead to a lack of emotional intelligence and physical health issues, including but not limited to asthma, obesity, anxiety conditions, and rhinitis.

Long-term Effects of Bullying

They also show that parental and peer support throughout victimization were very effective and important protective factors. If a child doesn’t have a solid support system or people willing to listen to them about their experience, it can lead to feelings of unworthiness, isolation, and lack of motivation. Left alone, this can turn into depression or other mental disorders that require professional treatment. Without this treatment, we see these children becoming underdeveloped and dysregulated into adulthood, seeing themselves as victims in many life situations, preventing them from accomplishing all they could in a healthier environment.

We can also see this present as a former victim of bullying turning into a bully themselves, using the aggression as an outlet in an attempt to protect themselves. Again, left unchecked, this can create adults who have little respect for others and show empathy only for those they relate to.

In the following infographic, Professor Wolke, alongside Dr.William E. Copeland of Duke University Medical Center, investigated the impact on all those affected; the victims, the bullies themselves, and those who fall into both categories; ‘bully-victims’.

Illustrated by Professor Wolke and Dr. Copeland, “the numbers further demonstrate the scale of the problem. ‘Bully-victims’ were 4.8 times more likely to suffer from depression in adulthood than those who weren’t exposed to bullying.”

Male victims of bullying were 18.5 times more likely to commit suicide than those who hadn’t experienced bullying.

Professor Wolke expressed, “The results show that bullying victims are perhaps the most vulnerable group of all. This group may turn to bullying after being victims of bullying themselves as they lack the emotional regulation, or the support, required to cope with it.”

The Role of Bystanders in Bullying

Bystanders in bullying can have different effects on the outcome and present negative traits such as apathy. Clark et al. (2022) show how a bystander defending a victim can encourage others to not participate in this behavior and even see it as wrong. On the other hand, bystanders who laugh or attempt to encourage bullying are oftentimes already dealing with mental health issues that have not been addressed. As peers are one of the more important aspects of adolescent socialization, bystander action can play a large role in the outcomes of peer aggression. Because of these findings, it is all the more important to pay attention to every child, not only victim or bully, to prevent greater issues from arising. In this fashion, we can encourage better peer resolution and identify areas where behavioral changes are needed.

When bystanders see their peers being assaulted and no aftercare or corrective counseling is given, it breeds discontent in the social setting, and the divide grows. This can affect the bystanders and defenders in the long-term by internalized victimization or feeling they have no control over their environment. This can translate into adults who have underdeveloped social and professional skills.

Aggressors and Discipline

In the case of aggressors, it is important to understand the situation before dealing out punishment to prevent any build of resentment. Whether the cause of bullying comes from prior victimization, struggles with home life, or socio-economic differences, every effort should be taken to understand the behavior before a punishment is given.

When a student is suspended without any sort of behavioral counseling, it does very little to change the behavior in the future. A review presented by Huang, F. L., & Cornell, D. G. (2021) shows how zero-tolerance policies (when all involved in an altercation are suspended regardless of if they were the aggressor, defender, or victim) do not help with feelings of safety in schools for students or teachers, and lead to higher suspension rates. Though it is proven this method does nothing to prevent further bullying, 74% of educators are in favor of it. They also warn of teacher bias in how they handle occurrences of bullying. It is recommended that a school psychologist sign off on appropriate action before any punishment is handed out.

Huang, F. L., & Cornell, D. G. (2021) concludes that zero-tolerance forms of discipline should only be used in extreme instances and only after consultation if the goal is to build a safer school environment. Rather than harsh punishments, they encourage educators to form a plan involving evidence-based, mental health-focused forms of effective discipline. If the child doesn’t understand why they are being punished in a certain way or doesn’t believe their actions were really that harmful, any punishment given will be counterproductive. However, when a student has an understanding of the harmful act committed and is shown how to access empathy for their peers, punishment is typically accepted by the student, and amends can be made.

Bullying: Past to Present

In the past, bullying wasn’t as big of a concern as it is today. Kids might rough house or tease on the playground, maybe even get in fights after school ending with them shaking hands and the issue is resolved. Bullying was seen as something to build character and metal—a way that kids gained backbone and strength. Even in the home with siblings or other family members, bullying has been something that is accepted. In some cases, the victim would even be shamed for letting bullying affect them rather than fighting back. This has been a part of growing up for many parents and school officials.

Kochenderfer-Ladd, B., & Pelletier, M. E. (2008) shows how the beliefs teachers have about bullying are still very much in line with this way of thinking. We see educators who feel bullying is just a fact of life and do little to intervene, while others feel students should work it out on their own and be assertive. Both of these responses have shown little to no effect on improved relations in school. Another common stance is avoidance, with teachers telling students to stay clear of mean kids and they won’t get bullied. This is possibly the most unhelpful type of teacher involvement as it does nothing but add to feelings of victimization for the students.

Times have changed significantly in the last 10-20 years; with advancements in technology and the prevalence of social media, bullying has become something that is inescapable to many youths, even in their own homes. This has caused many dangerous situations in schools across the nation and across the world. With the ever-looming threat of self-harm and school shootings, simply hoping that these issues will work themselves out with a few encouraging words is no longer a feasible solution. The only option now is to give our children and students the tools and support to work through these things on an emotional level. If we can teach them proper coping skills, emotional regulation, and empathy in a way they can understand, we will begin to move in the right direction; One of acceptance of the self and others.

Bullying Effects on Mental Health

Monitoring the mental health of children at home and in the school setting is the most important aspect of creating a safe learning environment for all. As we now know, the effects on victims of bullying are extremely detrimental to overall wellbeing and can translate into severe depression and aggressive behavior without proper guidance. In the case of aggressors, we see negative results from traditional punishments that do very little to change the behavior and sometimes even amplify it.

Even bystanders are not safe from the effects of an unhealthy environment, leading to feelings of seclusion or an unwillingness to help or engage with their fellow students. When viewed as a whole, this could transform students into adults living in a survival mode with little concern or care for others, unable to form meaningful connections with their peers. Garwood, J. D., & Gage, N. A. (2021) presents a study on the combined efforts of using threat assessment procedures in conjunction with mental health awareness and coaching to help identify students who may be at greater risk of aggressive behavior and underlying mental health difficulties. This method can help parents and school officials formulate plans for how to proceed with various students with different needs.

When we send our children to school, we tend to get a sense of security. We believe that they will be safe while at school, and no harm should fall upon them as their teachers are watching for any worrisome behaviors. This is only true if we take the appropriate caution and action in the home and school setting. As parents or family members, we provide our children with a basic understanding of how the world works, but we tend to not recognize the full harm that others can bestow on their mental health. We must be sure to also teach our children of their value outside of accomplishments and accolades to give them the confidence needed for mental stability.

We must remember that these individuals will spend only a fraction of their life as children, a majority of it as adults who are expected to be productive and have adequate emotional control. They cannot accomplish this without those around them showing them the way. Children must be taught how to handle their mental health; It doesn’t happen naturally without guidance. We owe it to these kids and ourselves to give them the best possible chance to live a happy and productive life, free of self-doubt, anxiety, and feelings of being less than their peers. An empathetic and confident child creates an adult who can accomplish greatness.


Clark, K. N., Eldridge, M. A., Dorio, N. B., Demaray, M. K., & Smith, T. J. (2022). Bullying, Victimization, and Bystander Behavior: Risk Factors Across Elementary–Middle School Transition. School Psychology, 37(1), 37–46.

de Souza, M., & McLean, K. (2012). Bullying and Violence: Changing an Act of Disconnectedness Into an Act of Kindness. Pastoral Care in Education, 30(2), 165–180.

Garwood, J. D., & Gage, N. A. (2021). Evidence for the Technical Adequacy of the Risk Assessment and Distress Recovery: Examining Risks While Avoiding Profiling Youth With Mental Health Difficulties. Journal of Psychoeducational Assessment, 39(6), 694 711.

Hong, J. S., Espelage, D. L., & Rose, C. A. (2019). Bullying, Peer Victimization, and Child and Adolescent Health: An Introduction to the Special Issue. Journal of Child & Family  Studies, 28(9), 2329 – 2334.

Kochenderfer-Ladd, B., & Pelletier, M. E. (2008). Teachers’ Views and Beliefs About Bullying: Influences on Classroom Management Strategies and Students’ Coping With Peer Victimization. Journal of School Psychology, 46(4), 431–453.

Huang, F. L., & Cornell, D. G. (2021). Teacher Support for Zero Tolerance Is Associated with Higher Suspension Rates and Lower Feelings of Safety. School Psychology Review,  50(2–3), 388–405.

How You Can Help Advocate for Victims of Bullying in Your Community

Bullying affects many Americans, and it’s important to end this cycle of suffering by showing community support for victims. The CDC highlights that bullying is a widespread concern that impacts even the youngest age group in communities. In fact, about one in five high school students have reported being bullied in academic institutions.

Unfortunately, school bullying is just the tip of the iceberg— there are even more bullying victims in workplaces and Internet spaces. Bullying can happen anywhere, which is why it’s important to stand up and empower victims as a whole through the following strategies:

Provide compassion and support for the victims

You can help victims feel seen and heard through small acts of kindness. While many people ignore and dismiss bullying, your support can provide hope to people who are suffering from abusive situations.

To illustrate, Stand for the Silent president Kirk Smalley provides compassion and support for victims by going to different schools to talk about his son’s experience with bullying. By speaking up about bullying, Smalley was able to prevent countless numbers of young students from taking their own lives. Similarly, you can change the lives of victims by checking in with them, listening to their stories, and showing them support and compassion.

Help the victims seek justice for their experiences

It can be challenging for victims to heal from their experiences, especially since physical violence, verbal abuse, and even social damage can be involved in bullying. As an advocate, you can empower victims and aid in their healing process by helping them attain justice and reparations.

Given that these experiences are traumatic, it’s critical to connect with crime victim advocates who can provide appropriate interventions for victims of bullying. These professionals strengthen the social ecosystem by providing medical and psychological care to victims while holding the perpetrators accountable at the same time. Through their knowledge of court regulations, you can ensure that victims will be properly assisted in their fight for justice.

Carry out mental wellness strategies for bullying victims

You may think that the suffering of victims will stop once the bullying incidents are over. Unfortunately, these experiences can be traumatic and painful to the point that victims experience long-term impacts on their health and their lives.

It has been discovered that victims are more likely to experience stomach problems, heart conditions, and headaches because of the stress and anxiety caused by bullying. Since these incidents have real and dangerous consequences on their health, you need to provide access to mental health counselors who can aid in their recovery process. Counselors can empower victims by reframing their negative thoughts and giving them the right tools to live healthier and happier lives.

Implement bullying prevention strategies in key areas

Aside from helping victims in their own recovery process, communities also need to carry out bullying prevention strategies. Making bullying a community issue rather than an individual issue allows you to work together and build structures that can put an end to the cycle of suffering.

There’s definitely power in numbers since community members can contribute their own skills and knowledge to prevent bullying in key areas. For instance, members may set up meetings with school teachers, sports coaches, and local businesses to educate them about the effects of bullying and ensure fair and just conflict resolution. After raising awareness, you can discuss prevention policies to ensure that the community will work together in ending bullying.

With the help of key community members, it’s possible to improve the recovery process of victims and prevent bullying cases from occurring within your area. You have the power to change the lives of victims for the better.

If you’re concerned about cyberbullying in particular, you can check out Social Bullets, our program on cyberbullying, for more information on education, intervention, and protection.

Cyberbullying: See Something, Say Something, Do Something.

Cyberbullying, the use of electronic devices to harass, shame, incite and humiliate, is imposing a devastating impact on today’s youth.

According to the Cyberbullying Research Center, between 2007 and 2019, the percentage of youth experiencing cyberbullying rose from 18% to 37%. Cyberbullying is now cited as a leading contributor to teenage suicide, as well as scarring the mental health, social development, academic progress, and emotional resilience of countless survivors. According to a report published in 2019 by the CDC, 33% of middle school students, 30% of high school students, and 5% of primary school students have experienced incidents of cyberbullying.

An algorithm developed by Area 23, the top global health advertising agency, revealed 70,000 cyberbullying posts and 300 suicide attempts in the United States during a 24 hour period. Most recently on Dec. 18, 2021, The Wall Street Journal published an article titled “‘Spilling the Tea,’ the Cyberbullying Tactic Plaguing Schools, Parents and Students”, which addresses a frightening emerging new form of cyberbullying that uses social media accounts with the word “tea” in the titles being used to spread rumors, false information, and comments written with the purpose of instigating fights. The easy access to a wide range of devices, the ever-increasing array of social media platforms, the stress of the pandemic, in combination with returning to the uncertainties of classroom learning, escalate the danger even further.

THE LAUNCH OF SOCIAL BULLETS
In response to the rising tide of concern of cyberbullying, Stand for the Silent, a 501 (c)(3) non-profit organization, developed Social Bullets, which is an online website and program designed to raise awareness, intervene and prevent online abuse.

With the essential components of the Social Bullets website and program established, Stand for the Silent is now focusing its efforts on bringing this resource to the attention of local community services and national organizations. These groups serve a crucial role in getting Social Bullets into the hands of those who can likely make the most use of its resources.

Most recently on January 19, 2022, Social Bullets was introduced to parents in the City of Manassas, Virginia through partnering with Officer TJ Rodriguez, Community Vitality Officer, who along with Officer John Hlebinsky developed the Parent E 3 Series, which was designed to engage, educate, and empower parents of at-risk youth. The Project is sponsoring a six-week program to provide parents, in their school community of 7,200 students, with information and tools on topics related to youth well-being, including bullying. According to Officer Rodriquez, the thrust of the series is to “equip parents and youth to put down phones and instead engage in the necessary conversations. A more informed and engaged parent and caregiver provide stronger and healthier relationships with their children.”

“…Equip parents and youth to put down phones and instead engage in the necessary conversations. A more informed and engaged parent and caregiver provide stronger and healthier relationships with their children.” — Officer TJ Rodriguez, Community Vitality Officer, Manassas City Police Department

STAND FOR THE SILENT’S REACH
Stand for the Silent (SFTS) was founded in 2010 by Kirk and Laura Smalley to honor their son Ty’s memory. He died by suicide, after being suspended from school for retaliating against a student who had bullied him for over two year years. Its mission is to increase awareness and prevent the ravaging consequences of all forms of bullying. Their record of high visibility and impact on youth is widely recognized. Since 2010, SFTS has reached 3.28 million kids in 4,726 schools with their school-wide assemblies.

ABOUT THE SOCIAL BULLETS PROGRAM
Working with professionals in the mental health field, SFTS’s Social Bullets team developed the website Social Bullets, the educational Social Bullets video, and the online free of charge, easily downloaded Social Bullets Cyberbullying Survival Guide. The guide is a practical and action-oriented resource for use by parents, guardians, and other adult role models, including schools, who are in the roles of safeguarding youth.

The core theme of Social Bullets is “SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING, DO SOMETHING. The Guide was written by Karen S. Goldberg (Licensed Clinical Social Worker/Psychotherapist), who for the past 45 years provided psychotherapy and related mental health services to children, teenagers, adults, couples, and families, as well as served as Clinical Director to a non-profit that served 150 public and private schools in Washington, DC Metro area.

Planned for the first quarter of 2022 is further extending the reach of Social Bullets’ resources, particularly to those populations and geographic areas with more limited access. In addition, the development of a Peer-to-Peer Cyberbullying Intervention Program is already underway. This new component of Social Bullets is aimed at helping youth to protect themselves and will be implemented by school systems, recreation organizations, and other agencies devoted to supporting the well-being of young people.

To learn more about the Social Bullets program and to download the Cyberbullying Survival Guide, visit https://standforthesilent.org/for-parents/stopcyberbullying/

To learn more about the Manassas Police Department’s Parent E3 Series and the upcoming events in the Northern Virginia area, click here.  

Cyberbullying: Advocates for victims speak out

Kirk Smalley, of Perkins, Oklahoma, is president of Stand for the Silent, an anti-bullying organization that has reached more than 3.2 million children through talks at 4,276 schools across the United States. In his talks, Smalley retells the devastating story of the day his son, Ty, took his life after years of being bullied. Since then, telling children they can make a difference has been his full-time job — his schedule shows more than 275 days on the road annually.

The problem touches every school in the country. One of every four students reported being bullied during the school year, according to figures released recently by the National Center for Educational Statistics (NCES). The suicide risk for bullied children increases threefold, and many cases go unreported.

“I get messages either on Facebook or Twitter or email, literally by the hundreds and thousands,” Smalley said. “I get them from kids who say, ‘I was going to kill myself until I heard you speak.’ I get them from bullies who say, ‘I never knew what I do could cause this. I’m going to stop. I’m going to try my hardest to make it stop.’ I get them from the victims of bullying who say, ‘I’m glad somebody is willing to do something.’”

Smalley urges parents to monitor social media for signs of bullying, so that parents can find out who is bothering their child and take immediate steps to correct the problem. Deleting social media accounts doesn’t help, he said, because the attacks can then continue behind a child’s back, and away from a parent’s supervision.

“We don’t really grasp the concept of how kids rely on communication through social media,” he said. “A lot of times the parents don’t realize what the kids are doing online.”

Is the problem getting better or worse? While bullying is still a serious problem in schools across the country, there is evidence that awareness, legislation and activism are working. In 2019, about 22 percent of students ages 12–18 reported being physically bullied at school during the school year, which was lower than the percentage reported in 2009 (28 percent), according to The National Center for Education Statistics.

Unfortunately the trends with cyberbullying are quite different. The COVID-19 pandemic has led to an increase in kids and teens using digital platforms. As schoolwork has moved home, so has bullying and harassment. More children are using online platforms to socialize during their quarantine and social distancing. Concurrently, there has been a notable increase in levels of bullying and abusive language among children.

Across communication channels on social media and popular chat forums, L1ght, a tech company that created artificial intelligence guardrails to curb online toxicity on company’s online platforms, has identified an 70% uptick in instances of hate speech between kids and teens during online chats. In fact, about 37% of young people between the ages of 12 and 17 have been bullied online; 30% have had it happen more than once, according to NCES.

Cyberbullies can conceal their behavior. Some apps, most prominently Snapchat, deliver images to other users that quickly disappear, making it difficult for parents or victims to prove an incident has occurred. Other apps, sometimes called “photo vault” apps, can hide messages, files and photos behind a screen that looks innocuous, such as a calculator. One app called Private Photo Vault even offers a premium, paid feature that allows users to set a “decoy” password that opens a separate photo library to give the illusion of access.

What should you do if your child is being cyberbullied by a classmate?

Kevin Epling, a prominent anti-bullying advocate in Michigan and national co-director of Bully Police USA, has this advice. “If apparently something is happening, the base response is to try to save everything you possibly can, whether it be on your phone or your computer. That becomes proof,” said Epling, whose son took his own life in 2002 after a hazing incident. “Then get your school’s policy. All states now have a law, but they vary on what they cover. Correspond the law with your school’s policy (so) you’re better armed to ask questions. Also look very closely with how they treat technology — many will only hold students accountable if it’s school equipment.”

To check the bullying legislation in your state, visit https://www.stopbullying.gov/resources/laws

Cybersecurity Trends to Know As a Parent

The growth of the digital age, technology, online learning, and gaming has exposed children and teens to the internet. With cybercrimes on the rise, parents should be aware of the threats, risks, and vulnerabilities their children are exposed to.

Your child can encounter the same cyber risks that you can. However, online predators, bullies, and cybercriminals have special ways to get to kids in ways that they cannot resist. Cybersecurity software can help deter some of these criminal activities. It is vital for every parent to monitor their child’s internet use and educate them on cybersecurity.

Here are some of the common cybersecurity trends that you should be aware of.

1) Cyberbullying

According to a recent study, 59% of teenagers have been victims of cyberbullying. This is one of the most challenging threats to deal with because it can affect your child’s emotional, social, and mental health. Your child can be ridiculed on their social media accounts, online pictures, and gaming sites.

To protect your child, you can discourage them from creating a social media profile and monitor their mobile and online activity using specialized apps and cybersecurity software.  It would help if you also encouraged them to talk to you when they are being bullied.

If your child likes online games, you should talk to them about separating their real-life from their virtual characters. This is because players’ personas are at a huge risk of continuous attacks, which turns the game from an imaginative escape into a mortifying ordeal.

At times, other children can share some private information about a child or their pictures online. This can cause the victim a lot of distress. This can happen through messaging apps, social media accounts, and private chats. When word gets around, the victim can be experience ridicule or gossip at school or among peers in their neighborhood. This can even be worse if the data is inappropriate.

To know if your child is a victim of cyberbullying, check out for changes in behavior such as lack of appetite, sudden hate to go to school or visit the mall, and more. You should also seek professional help to deal with cyberbullying.

2) Accidentally Downloading Malware

Malware is computer software installed on the computer without the permission or knowledge of the user. It can slow down your computer, and cybercriminals also use it to steal your personal information, such as your credit card number, or have access to your bank accounts.

Cybercriminals trick children into downloading malware masked as games. Once your child unknowingly downloads the malware, it will give the hacker access to the device user’s private information.

Hackers also attractively package phishing emails and smishing texts, tricking the child that they have won a prize so that they cannot resist opening the mail or text. This will also give the hacker access to personal information.  Your child should look out for suspicious links and avoid opening them.

3) Viewing Inappropriate Content

Your child can easily be exposed to inappropriate or adult content as they use the internet. Such content appears as ads or pop-ups, and they may also accidentally stumble upon these sites. Note that unsupervised children are a risk to themselves online.

To protect your child from accessing adult sites, you should use a child-friendly browser, like Kiddle, Pikluk, or others like them. that automatically blocks them from accessing such sites and check their browsing histories to know their online activities.

4) Cyber Predators

Several predators stalk children online and can easily take advantage of your child. Predators lurk on sites that children like to visit, such as gaming and social media sites. Your child can innocently join a child-friendly chat room to connect with their peers or chat with their virtual friends on gaming sites.

Predators often pretend to be children, and therefore, your child will not know that they are chatting with an adult. This is a considerable risk. Predators such as child traffickers, sexual predators, and kidnappers frequent child-friendly sites and can also lure your child to meet them.

To ensure that your child’s innocence is not exploited by predators on gaming platforms, social media sites, and chat rooms, it would help if you emphasized the danger of interacting with any stranger online. You should also discourage them from agreeing to meet with any strangers and report such chats to you.

5) Online Scams

Several adults fall victim to online scams like fake investment opportunities and winnings that require you to make some payment before receiving it. Unfortunately, your child is also vulnerable to scams such as free access to games, freebies for signing up, or prizes for sharing personal information.

Your child should be aware of anybody who asks them to share private information online. They should also watch out for quick or easy winnings, gifts, and suspicious links.

Final Word

Protecting your child from threats and risks on the internet is all about awareness. Knowing the cybersecurity threats that your child might be exposed to is the first step towards protecting them. You should also educate your child on cybersecurity, regularly talk to them about their online life and day-to-day life, and use suitable measures to protect them, including monitoring their online activities.

When Adults Bully: What We Can Learn From Greta Thunberg

31% of Americans have been bullied as an adult, and many (43%) say that the behavior has become more accepted within the past year, according to one survey conducted by Harris Poll on behalf of the American Osteopathic Association. While many are familiar with children bullying one another and the concept of adults bullying within settings like the workplace, many may not think that an adult is even capable of bullying someone significantly younger. Climate activist Greta Thunberg, who was cyberbullied by former president Donald Trump at just 16 years old, however, highlights just one real-life scenario of the unthinkable happening.

When the bully is an authoritative figure

Greta Thunberg was named Time magazine’s “Person of The Year” in 2019. In response, then president Donald Trump, (who was named Time’s Person of The Year in 2016) took to Twitter to react by writing: “So ridiculous. Greta must work on her Anger Management problem, then go to a good old fashioned movie with a friend! Chill Greta, Chill!” The behavior was nothing out of the ordinary for the former president, as CNN notes another instance in which he had bullied Carly Fiorina’s looks during the 2016 presidential campaign (she was competing with Trump for the Republican nomination). In the same campaign, CNN also notes that Trump mocked a New York Times reporter by mimicking his physical disability.

Trump’s wife, Melania, whose initiative as the first lady was the “Be Best” anti-bullying campaign, had an interesting take on the situation. USA Today notes that at the time, only a week had passed since Melania slammed Pamela Karlan for a comment made about her teenage son Barron, taking to Twitter to write: “A minor child deserves privacy and should be kept out of politics.” In response to her husband’s words to Thunberg, a statement was issued, noting that Greta, “who travels the globe giving speeches,” isn’t the same as her son, “a 13-year-old who wants and deserves privacy.” While essentially condoning her husband’s treatment of the Swedish climate activist, the statement also acknowledged that she and her husband ‘communicate differently.’

It’s imperative to note that Thunberg has been the victim of cyberbullying coming from other adults as well. Insurance tycoon and Brexiteer, Arron Banks, implied that Thunberg could be endangered on a two-week, carbon-neutral sailing voyage on her way to attend climate talks in New York and Chile in 2019, tweeting “Freak yachting accidents do happen in August…” According to The Cut, Banks later “attempted to excuse the tweet as a joke.” Conservative and ‘Brexit cheerleader’ Julia Hartley-Brewer, a radio host, also took to Twitter to mock Thunberg, stating she’d “just booked some long haul flights” for her family for Christmas, going on to say “Level of guilt being felt: 0%” Hartley-Brewer later said that Thunberg was a “vulnerable child brainwashed and exploited to further their political aims” after receiving widespread criticism.

The high-profile nature of Trump’s cyberbullying is rather unique, though variations of adults bullying children do occur in settings around the world. Teachers who bully their students are just one comparable example, as such situations involve a bully who happens to be in an authoritative role. Norwegian research sheds some light on the matter, with one study by Kari Gusfre and colleagues at the Norwegian Centre for Learning Environment reviewing previous research that looked at adults who bully children in a global school context. Gusfre notes that it was found that negative relationships between students and teachers increased the likelihood of a teacher who bullies their students. The research also found that certain teachers bully due to feeling “a need to maintain a sense of power and dominance in the classroom.”

Taking a stand

On the subject of bullying, Greta said: “I honestly don’t understand why adults would choose to spend their time mocking and threatening teenagers and children for promoting science, when they could do something good instead,” Thunberg wrote in a Twitter thread back in 2019. “I guess they must simply feel so threatened by us…. The world is waking up. Change is coming whether they like it or not.” Thunberg is known for urging leaders to make positive changes regarding the environment, consistently highlighting the detrimental impact of climate-related issues and the need to make changes as soon as possible — before it’s too late.

One 2021 LA Times article highlights the fact that the problem begins with consumers, noting that when a consumer purchases a new gas car, another will be produced due to demand. “That car will last an average of 12 years, emitting pollution every day, and its owner will be sending the oil companies an average of $2,000 every year for the gasoline needed to run it.” As a result, the opinion article points out that Thunberg should talk to drivers rather than governments regarding the matter — switching to electric vehicles (EVs) presents one green alternative, and serves as a great way to support both the environment as well as Thunberg’s primary message.

Greta responded to Trump’s 2019 tweet by updating her Twitter bio to mock Trump’s, referring to herself as “A teenager working on her anger management problem. Currently chilling and watching a good old fashioned movie with a friend.” While Greta’s response was a lighthearted and mature way to fire back at the adult, the situation brings to light the reality of the situation: she was only 16 at the time, and had done nothing to deserve such treatment from the then president of the United States. With that in mind, it’s imperative to keep in mind that the adult involved should always take responsibility for their actions and words. When understanding why someone like Trump would choose to bully a teenager, Verywell Mind notes that there’s “no one reason why people bully,” though many who engage in the conduct experience insecurity, a need to control others, or enjoy the ‘rewards’ they get from bullying others. It’s also imperative to keep in mind that bullying is often a learned behavior, and that past experiences as well as individual characteristics can play a role in why someone chooses to bully others as well.

The adult’s responsibility

While Greta’s stance on the matter highlights her maturity and serves as a good example of tactfully handling a difficult situation, it’s imperative to take into account that not everyone will react in the same way. Bullying can result in a variety of issues in children and teenagers, from low self-esteem to loss of interest in social activities, thoughts of self-harm or suicide, development of eating disorders, nightmares, difficulty focusing on learning, and more. Trump’s treatment of Thunberg was a prime example of cyberbullying, which allows a bully to reach their victim anytime, anywhere, and, in this case, in front of a massive online audience. To highlight the impact of cyberbullying, the Annual Bullying Survey 2017 found that people who experience cyberbullying “reported having an increase in social anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts.” Healthline further points out that many people also reported stopping or deleting social media, skipping school, and experiencing issues surrounding disordered eating or substance abuse.

Adults involved in an instance of bullying have a responsibility to examine their own behaviors and what they’re modeling to those around them, according to one 2012 Michigan State University (MSU) Extension article. While the responsibility falls on adults themselves, children and teenagers who find themselves on the receiving end of bullying from an adult should speak up, and bring the behavior to the attention of another adult who is caring and responsible. “Adults who care about young people first and foremost have a responsibility to step up and work to end these kinds of harmful behaviors,” notes the article, going on to give several strategies that can be helpful — such as listening deeply, asking for the young person’s opinion, and meeting to discuss the matter with the adult in question.

Trump’s harsh words towards Greta Thunberg highlight a disturbing reality — that bullying isn’t always among children or teens. Despite Thunberg’s mature way of responding while still standing up for what she believes in, it’s essential that adults remember that they’re responsible for modeling positive behavior — and taking responsibility for both their actions and words.